{#70} “Only Hell To Pay” June 30, 2015 ©

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In the beginning
I had it all wrong 
Now
I have only Hell to pay
Sex
I thought it was love
But I was so young
Sex was true
Sex was love
It really wasn’t
I wandered aimlessly 
Searching for what I thought
Love might be
Lover after Lover
But it wasn’t love
Everything was so empty
Now
I have only Hell to pay
Where was the love?
The kind of love that lasts forever
The beds were always warm
The hearts were always cold
And as I’ve grown older
I have discovered that
I will never find love
I am longing for some kind of feeling
Something inside of my heart
Love….
It’s not just the sex
But a lifelong friendship
To grow and build upon
Sex is a happy benefit 
So they say…
Now
That I want and need that love
I can’t find it
I will continue to look for it
But there it is
A hard reality smack in my face
My time has run out
I will never fall in love
I am empty
Now
I only have Hell to pay

-vicki-

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